Happy Ending
by maxride08
Summary: "Not everyone gets a happy ending." His mind was a mess. He couldn't stop it. The despair, the overwhelming guilt, and worst of all were the continuous flood of memories. Part of him just wanted to turn it off again, to forget her, to forget all of it. The other part was clinging to those memories for dear life. He felt like they were all that was anchoring him to world now.
1. Chapter 1

**HELLO CITIZENS! Wow. It's been years since I've written any fanfiction and gosh I've missed it. I have a multi-chapter fic (for Maximum Ride) that I really should be updating, but its been so long and I think I just need to get back into the swing of things before I attempt to salvage that train wreck.**

**Anyways, this is my first FMA fic! Not saying it'll be good, (odds are its total crap), but I've had this stuck in my head for DAYS now!**

**I planned on just a one-shot, but my outline went a bit wild and now I have no choice but to just run with it. So I'm thinking 4-5 chapters? And a possible companion fic.**

**Let me know what you think! If I should continue, or just give up and crawl into a hole. So yeah.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own FMA or any of the characters. They are simply the beings that have taken over my brain and driven me insane. So thanks for that.**

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He hadn't planned on going to the funeral. The idea of having to sit through the service, the speeches, and the reception: it made him sick. None of them had known her like he had. None of them would ever care about her like he had. Their speeches filled with memories and regrets only fueled the flame inside him. What right did any of them have to speak about her? What made them think that their tears meant anything?

But in the end he went. And he listened. He accepted their condolences and ignored their concerned glances. No one had known her like he had. And it was for that reason that we went to the service, helped carry her coffin, and watched as they lowered the one woman he had loved above all else into the ground.

He hadn't spoken a single word throughout the service. They asked him to make a speech of course, but he declined. As the crowd thinned, he stood resolute before her grave.

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and turned to see Gracia Hughes standing next to him, tears in her eyes and holding tight to her daughter's hand.

"Roy, I'm so sorry. Please, come by the house any time. You know you are always welcome." He gave her a weak smile and even hugged her back when she wrapped her arms around him. He knew this woman, more than anyone, understood. She placed a hand gently on his arm and kissed his cheek before stepping back.

"Come by soon Uncle Roy," said Elicia as she gave him a quick hug. She barely had to stand on her toes to hug him now; he was always amazed by how much she'd grown.

"Sir, we'll wait for you at the car," said Havoc from behind him. Roy didn't turn to see his friend lead a blubbering Rebecca and Fuery back towards the car. He inwardly thanked them for the space. They had their own losses to grieve. Breda's funeral had been just a few days earlier. He hadn't attended. He knew Havoc might never forgive him for that.

His mind was a mess. He couldn't stop it. The despair, the overwhelming guilt, and worst of all were the continuous flood of memories. Part of him just wanted to turn it off again, to forget her, to forget all of it. The other part was clinging to those memories for dear life. He felt like they were all that was anchoring him to world now.

"_So things in Ishval are running smoothly I presume?" said the new Fuhrer as his bishop took Roy's rook._

"_Quite well for now, there's still a lot of resistance but most of the citizens are coming around. The city-wide construction is underway and were moving another hundred Ishvalans into the housing development next week." Roy took a sip of his coffee before making his move._

"_I see," Grumman set down his cup and folded his hands on the table. "So I assume you and my grand-daughter will be returning to Ishval soon?"_

"_Yes, I believe we'll be departing the day after tomorrow."_

_Fuhrer Grumman nodded thoughtfully. "Mustang." He said intently, making the General look up from his coffee._

"_Yes sir?"_

"_There was a reason I asked you to see me today." Roy was silent. "I've made a decision that I believe will greatly change the way this military is run. And I believed that you should be the first to know."_

"_Sir?"_

_Grumman leaned forward and looked the General in the eyes. "Mustang, I've decided… to throw out all of the instant coffee. It is absolute crap and I'll have none of my officers drinking that bile. It's beans, or nothing. It's an extra cost, but I just cannot take it anymore." He sat back, smirking at the look on his General's face._

_Mustang shook his head lightly. "Whatever you say Fuhrer," he lifted up his cup to take another sip of his crappy coffee._

"_Oh, and I'm abolishing the anti-fraternization law," Grumman added as an afterthought._

_Roy's coffee was spewed all over the chess set. "What?!" He looked at the Fuhrer's smug face, his own turning from shock, to disbelieve, to hopeful before he cleared his throat and composed himself. "You- you are sir?"_

"_Yes," said Grumman sitting back. "I think it's about time we do away with that ancient rule. I'll be making an announcement in the next few days, but I thought you would like to know ahead of time." He grinned and looked at Mustang suggestively, "because you're returning to Ishval and all."_

_Mustang cleared his throat again, then stood up and saluted. "Thank you sir. Permission to be excused?" Grumman waved his hand dismissively and Roy exited the office hastily._

_He walked in a daze of disbelief back to his own office, ignoring the calls and greetings from officers he passed._

Riza._  
That one thought made him walk faster. He had to stop himself from sprinting full out._

"_Hey General, how was the Fuhrer? Finally give you permission for that new irrigation system in Ishval?" Said Havoc as Mustang entered the office. He waked right by, ignoring Havoc's comment. "Sir?"_

_He saw her. Sitting at her desk scribbling away at one of the endless piles of paperwork he had been avoiding. "Colonel Hawkeye." He stopped before her desk, hands shaking. She noticed his flushed state instantly: her questioning eyes meeting his._

"_General? Are you-?"_

"_Meet me in my office."_

"_Sir-?"_

_He had already closed his door behind him._

_He was unmoving, standing straight and staring at the door, his hands clenched into shaking fists at his sides. Was this really happening? Could he-? After all these years-. Could they finally-? His thoughts cut off as the door opened. And then he moved._

_The door slammed behind Riza as she was pushed against it, his lips slamming down on hers. She gave a short gasp of surprise before raising her hands up to his chest. Roy held her face in his hands, crushing himself against her and putting all of his pent up emotions and hopes into his kiss._

_He knew he was being hasty and irrational, but his body was on autopilot. He had always known that he loved her. Had always known that if things had been different, nothing could have kept him from being with her. Since the words had left the new Fuhrer's mouth the only thing he could think was that now, finally, there was a chance. _

_Every day, every time he saw her, he had to mentally restrain himself from kissing her. And now, finally- His soft lips moved against hers, passionate and fierce. As her lips parted beneath his, he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him, relishing in the feeling of her body against his after all this time._

_She pulled back to take a breath and then his lips were on her neck._

_He heard a short intake of breath before she pushed him away. "Stop," she said, slightly out of breath. Roy staggered back staring lustily at the disheveled woman. He moved towards her again but she stopped him, pushing him away again, "Sir," her voice was firmer not. "This is inappropriate. We can't-"_

_This time Roy smiled. "We can." He trapped her hands on her chest with his own and pulled her towards him. "We can," he repeated._

_Riza signed, "What are you-?"_

"_Riza." Her name on his lips stopped her mid sentence. It had been years since he had said her name. His hand caressed her face lightly. "I just talked to Grumman. He's dropping the fraternization law."_

_Her eyes widened. He took her surprise as an opportunity to kiss her again. This time she bit him. "General Mustang. You need to stop kissing me!" She backed out from against the door to walk across the office to a safe distance from him._

"_Riza-"_

"_Sir. Fraternization law or not, this is completely inappropriate. You can't just pull me into your office and-" She took a breath and smoothed out her uniform. "This is unlike you sir. You need to think about your actions. In any case, this is not something we should be discussing here. Finish up your paperwork and then meet me at my apartment tonight. We can discuss this then, okay?"_

_Roy's eyes were still blazing, but he nodded and allowed her to leave his office._

_As Riza headed back to her desk, she passed a snickering Havoc. She heard him mutter something like "General- stop kissing-" before she wacked him over the head with a file._

The memory hit Roy like a train. Before that day he had always been so careful, making sure he kept his feelings secret from both Riza and himself. There had always had a sort of unspoken understanding between the two, but it was rarely acted upon.

That day he had been so full of hope for their future. He had felt like all they had needed was an opportunity, a chance to be together, and nothing would stop them.

That was almost 10 years ago.

How naïve he had been.

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**First chapter: complete. What did you think?! Too OOC? Too random? Too rambley? All of the above?**

**Review please!**

**See ya soon :)**

**-Hannah**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Sorry I didn't update sooner. But finals are over and it's summer - yay! I am working and taking a summer class, but I will have plenty of time to finish this story. Expect 4 or 5 chapters and possibly a companion story or two. We shall see. I have ideas. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of these wonderful characters.**

**[[[Sorry to anyone who read this sometime in the last 24 hours! I updated and then this morning realized how crappy it was and how different it was from what I had originally planned. I changed some things and added a lot. I'm a lot happier with it now! Yay!]]]**

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Roy wasn't sure how long he had been standing in front of her grave. He wasn't even sure what he was staring at anymore. The words engraved on the stone had lost their meaning. Was this stone, this marker, really all that was left of her? One solid, bleak piece of rock the only thing to commemorate her entire existence? It seemed impossible. So much of his life was now inside that damn stone.

How had it turned out like this? How, after everything they had been through together, had this been their ending? He was just so _angry_; so unbelievably _furious_ and wrecked and disbelieving. Could it have been different? Could he have saved her? He knew he could have. He should have. It was his fault. He should have fought harder, been stronger, been quicker. Now she was gone, and it was horribly and entirely his fault.

_Roy had just raised his fist to knock on Riza's apartment door when it was swung open and Roy found himself, not for the first time, with a stone faced Riza Hawkeye pointing a gun at his face._

"_Do you always greet guests this way?" He asked with a smirk._

"_Sir, if you try and kiss me –I shoot you." Roy raised his hands in a gesture of innocence and she moved to let him pass into the apartment. Riza's apartment wasn't unfamiliar to Roy, but he still felt a little awkward standing in her small living room watching as she closed the door and turn to face him. They stared at each other across the room for what felt like hours to Roy. And he drank in her appearance. She had changed out of her uniform into a simple pair of jeans and a pale woolen sweater, her golden hair falling around her shoulders. God she was beautiful. He had always thought so._

"_Take a seat," she said gesturing to the couch. He sat._

"_Joining me?"_

"_No. I'd prefer not to." He folded his hands in his lap, watching her, noticing the anxious twitch of her hands, her slightly furrowed eyebrows. Obviously she was still upset about his ambushing her earlier at the office. But she was just nervous about finally being able to be with him, right?_

_He was just about to open his mouth to speak when she took a step closer and said "Sir, I know why you're here and I know what you want, but I want you to listen to me for a minute. Alright?" He nodded. "Ambushing me earlier was completely inappropriate and unfair. No- I said listen." She took a deep breath, her face expressionless. "Sir, the Fuhrer abolishing the fraternization law doesn't change anything. Nothing can happen between you and I."_

_He knew she was going to say that. But he wasn't about to give up so easily. "Riza. I know that it's been a long time, but everything is different now."_

"_You know Roy, it really hasn't been that long, and I'm surprised that you've forgotten so easily. We decided a long time ago that we would have to put out feelings aside in order to do what we had to for this country. And we didn't make that decision based on some silly fraternization law." He hadn't forgotten. He had reminded himself of that conversation every day for years, every time he saw her, every time he wanted to pull the clip out of her hair, or squeeze her hand before a batter, or pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. He reminded himself of their decision every day and used it to push down his desires and focus on the task at hand. But he had always thought, always hoped, that someday they could be together._

_He stood up and walked towards her slowly. "Okay. That's true. But the country is different now. The Promised Day, we're finally making progress in Ishval, we've done so much already! Just think about this for a second-"_

"_Of course I've thought about it!" She said stepping away from him, unwilling to be distracted by his closeness. "But do you really think that us being together would do anything other than cause problems? I can't be the wife of a Brigadier General, and especially not of the Fuhrer, and still be in the military. I can't follow and protect you and also stand next to you. There's no way the people would be alright with that."_

"_Do you think that matters to me?! Do you know how long I've waiting for this?! For you?" She looked away, folding her arms over her chest. "Riza, you know- you have to have known- how I've always felt about you." His stare burned into her, and he thought he saw tears threatening behind her eyes. But when she faced him again, she was as expressionless as ever. He walked back to the couch and sat down, running a hand though his dark hair, frustrated. Why was she pretended that none of this affected her?! He had wanted no one else since he was a teenager. And now that they finally had a chance to be together, was she really going to ignore it?_

_He looked up at her. "Could you please sit down? So we can talk about this?" She sighed, moving forward and sitting in the small loveseat across from him. They were silent for a minute. Then she spoke, looking down at her hands in her lap._

"_Do you remember after Ishval? I promised that I would follow you no matter what, that I would do whatever it took to help you reach the top and make this country a better place. And that _has_ to stay the most important thing. Try and be rational about this. Don't think about you and me, think about this country. You know that I'm right."_

_He looked away, thinking it over. There would always be threats against Amestris and against him. Even if he did become Fuhrer, it would never be safe. They could use her against him, use her as his weakness. He would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to her because of him, Riza Hawkeye was the strongest woman he had ever known, but he also knew that she would never allow herself to be the one standing between him and the future he envisioned for Amestris. The country had to come first. The country would always come first._

"_You always were one step ahead of the game," he said turning towards her again. She looked at him with sad eyes. This was hurting her just as much as it hurt him. "Even if we kept it a secret-"_

"_It would be too dangerous. If anyone found out, or even suspected it-"_

"_They would use us against each other. I know."_

_How was this happening? Just a few hours ago he had been so filled with hope, so excited and anxious, and so _ready_ to finally be with this woman. Maybe he had let his excitement blind him. Nothing had changed. Nothing would ever change. But still- he had to ask._

_He looked up at her, taking a deep breath as her eyes met his. "I just want to know one thing. Are you saying this because it would be too dangerous and because the country comes first… or are you saying this because you honestly don't want to be with me?"_

_There must have been sadness in his face, a desperate longing in his eyes, because her face suddenly melted into one of surprise, then anger, and then a desperate sadness he hadn't seen there for a long time._

_She moved to sit on the couch next to him. She was inches away, their legs barely touching. She grabbed his chin to turn his face to hers and his skin tingled at the contact. "Roy Mustang," his heart thudded in his chest as she said his name, "do not ever, _ever_ think that I do not care about you."_

"_That isn't what I meant."_

"_Do you remember when you first came to stay at my father's house? You were the first real friend I ever had. You were the first person I trusted. You were my first kiss, my first-"_

"_I remember," he interrupted, smiling at the light blush on her cheeks._

"_Roy, I fell in love with you when I was 14 years old. And that has not, and will not, ever change." _

_He couldn't help it; he kissed her. It wasn't like before. This kiss was slow, filled with meaning and the impossible love that they had for each other. And this time she really kissed him back. He reached a hand up hold her face_

_He'd learned his lesson though, and pulled back after a moment, resting his forehead against hers. "Please don't shoot me," he whispered. She smiled sadly at him, her eyes still closed._

_He reached across the small space between them to take her hand in his, threading his fingers tightly though hers. "I hope you know that I refuse to give you up. I will not lose you."_

"_You couldn't get rid of me even if you wanted to Sir." He lifted their entwined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently. She leaned her head against his shoulder._

_He couldn't be without her, but they could never be together the way he had envisioned. The idea of going back to the way it was before was unbelievably painful. Staring longingly at her across a room, being careful not to address her by name in public, burying away his feelings, he didn't think he could stand it. But he had been strong before, and he could be strong again._

_He looked down at the amazing woman leaning against him. This woman loved him. She loved him and supported him and would give up anything to make sure that he achieved his goal. And somehow, that would have to be enough._

But it wasn't. It could never have been enough. Roy thinks he must have known that all along. When they had sat there together, thinking about the future they would have together but always apart, when she had stood, hand still in his, and asked if he would stay with her, just for the night, when he had kissed her forehead in the morning before leaving her apartment, and for the years and years afterwards, it had never been enough.

And now she was gone. Dead.

That was it, the ending to their nonexistent love story. She was dead.

It should have been him.

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**Sorry if Roy was a bit OOC here. But I like the idea of him being the emotional, irrational one sometimes. I'll be sure to update again this week!**

**Review and let me know what you think! It is very encouraging and helpful.**

**-Hannah**


	3. Chapter 3

**I keep changing my mind about how I want to finish this fic. How many more chapters, what scenes to include, what I want to leave for the spin-off, if I even want to do a spin-off, ahhh I just keep changing my outline and then procrastinating actually writing. Sorry about that. So I'm just going to write write write and see where it goes.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of these wonderful characters.**

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The years after that night were some the best of Roy Mustang's life. Right now they all looked wasted and depressing to him, but in time he would look back at them and smile. They were in love. They were in love and they both knew it. The two had an understanding; it could never go further. But while they couldn't be together, they gave subtle reminders to let the other know they were there. Riza could feel his eyes on her as she crossed the room or worked on his paper work. Roy felt her brush her hand against his as they walked or when she set files in front of him at his desk. At military events and weddings, he would hold her a little too close as they danced and whisper how beautiful she looked against her ear. Stealing glances, small touches, whispered compliments—it wasn't much, but it was better than pretending there was nothing there at all.

Of course, their understanding only went so far. There was many times, like that first night she asked him to stay, when one would need the other. It was the same as after Ishval, when the nightmares hit and they could only sleep wrapped in each other's protective embrace. But now it meant so much more than. Sometimes Roy got drunk and found himself using his extra key to sneak into Riza's apartment and crawl into her bed. Sometimes she kicked him out onto the couch, but more times than not she snuggled up against him. It didn't take her long to notice that often there was no smell of alcohol on his breath. She pretended she didn't know.

Other times it was a close call on the battlefield or Riza's nightmares, or simply a longing loneliness that sent Riza knocking on his door. Eventually he just gave her a key. But once the nights were over, they slipped away and continued living as if nothing happened.

_It was a many years after the Promise Day when Roy and Riza once again found themselves getting off the train in Risembol. It had taken Roy a while to convince his staff that even the Fuhrer could handle a simple train ride into the countryside without a full security detail. He got incredibly tired of the constant supervision. He was fully capable of taking care of himself. And anyways, he had the Hawk's Eye watching over him._

_Riza would never admit it, but she adored the quiet country town. She loved it more and more every time they visited. Looking around as they walked towards the Elric's cottage home, it reminded her of the small town she grew up in: secluded, open, peaceful, and incredibly beautiful. If she were ever to settle down, it would be in a place like this. She put the thought out of her mind. It just wasn't in the cards for her, and that was fine._

"_Here it comes," Roy sighed next to her as they approached the Elric's porch. A few seconds later the door flew open and a short golden haired blur bounded out of the house and threw itself at Roy's legs. Roy smiled in spire of himself, patting the kids head before detaching him from his legs. "Hey there squirt."_

_The boy took a step back grinning before bringing his feet together and his hand to his forehead in a salute. "Uncle Fuhrer, sir!"_

"_Maes, you can just call him Uncle Roy," said a tall, older version of the boy who was now trying to lug Roy's luggage up the porch steps. "Or better yet, Fuhrer Basta—" clanggg "DAMN IT WINRY!"_

"_Uncle Roy is fine Maes," said an annoyed Winry as she stepped out onto the porch, wrench in hand, next to her husband who was now rubbing his head in pain. "Hey there Riza! Roy! So glad you two could make it out here!"_

"_Of course, we wouldn't miss it." Riza walked up to hug the younger woman and then a still grumbling Edward. "How are you feeling?" Riza asked Winry as they headed inside._

"_Pretty well actually. Just a bit tired. Luckily Sara doesn't cry nearly as much as Maes did, so we're actually getting a few good hours of sleep at night. Here, let me go get her from upstairs. She should be awake from her nap by now."_

_They spent the afternoon sitting on the porch catching up and passing the newest member of the Elric family around. Maes sat at his father's feet showing Roy the newest arrays he had learned and constantly asking questions._

_Roy caught up Edward about Ishval and military affairs, and Edward told him all about his newest book and his plans for the next class he could be teaching that fall at the nearest university. While they talked, Roy couldn't help but glance over at Riza, holding the tiny infant in her arms while she chatted with Winry. She smiled down at the baby and let Sara wrap her tiny hand around her finger._

_Ed and Winry had such a happy life here. He had left the military, married the woman he loved, started a family, and even without his alchemy spent his time pursuing his passions, whether it was studying, writing, teaching, or giving his son alchemy lessons behind Winry's back. Roy was happy for them. After everything the Elrics had been through, they deserved this._

_But he couldn't help but be envious. This wasn't a life he or Riza could ever have._

_When they left Risembol the next day, Riza of course noticed how quiet her commander was._

"_What is it sir?" She asked, from the seat next to his on the train._

_Still staring out the window, he said "Do you ever regret making the choice we did?"_

"_Sir?" She was surprised. It wasn't like him to address their relationship in public like this._

"_I mean, do you ever resent that I couldn't make you a mother?" He still wouldn't look at her. _

_Eventually she answered him. "Yes, sometimes. But you know, I don't think I'm really the maternal type. I wouldn't have made a very good mother anyways Sir."_

_He turned his head to meet her gaze, a sad smile on his face. "I disagree. I think you would have been an amazing mother."_

_Between them, she entwined her hand with his. "Even so, I wouldn't take back the decisions I made for anything." She squeezed his hand and looked away. " I've got enough to worry about and protect right here."_

_He knew she was being sincere. But he had also seen the way she looked at Maes and at Sara. She would have been an incredible mother. He knew that there was a part of her that would always regret not being able to start a family and settle down. She was just an envious of the Elrics as he was._

He had taken so much away from her. Because of him, she joined the military, saw the horrors of Ishval and suffered through the Promise Day. Because of him, she was denied of a real family, of a peaceful life, of love and safety. Because of him, she gave her life to protect him.

She might not have regretted the choices she made, but if it weren't for him, she would never have had to make those choices in the first place.

If it weren't for him, she would still be alive.

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**I don't particularly like this chapter. Will probably edit it later on. Let me know what you think.**

**REVIEWW PLEASEE :) **

**-Hannah**


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